MEMBERS OF THE HIDEOUT

Leader of the underground movement to keep the Fanboy Nation alive by any means necessary and specialist in information, education, enumeration, libation and liberation. He knows "the man" is watching because he's watching the man while he prepares the broadcast from the Hideout bringing in others who think like we do (or don't, we're only picky when we need to be.) In One Nation under All Fanboys he's formed the hideout, a place where we can come and make plans, document strategy, in a place where millions of people can see. It's a hide in plain site plan - that's his story and he's sticking to it. (Dafixer's Query: How do you know it's a "dark side' if you can't actually see it?)

Minister of edumacation, martial artist, warlord (except at home, the wife's the warlord there), tribal leader and pundant (he made me add that last bit.) He's your go-to-guy when you need a guy to go to (except when he isn't). He's the foundation of the Hideout, the mortar that holds the bricks together, the welding that reinforces the lead-steel plating (it's a superman thing), and the one who inspires the members of the Hideout to keep the underground movement for the Fanboy Nation alive. (He brings the pizza and mountain dew.) (Ma'at credo - I'm only wrong becasue you people can't see how right I am.)

Bounty hunters, Ex-Queen of Barbarious 5, God-Tickler, Inner Space Pirate and part time Ion-Buggy drag racer, Scaper33 is wanted on six systems for two thousand crimes against bad entertainment. This petulant Ewok kicker brings something to the Hideout it sourly missed - the ability to rip the arms off of anyone who beats her at Holo-Monster chess. Once an executive vice president for the Cyrius Cybernetics Corporation, Scaper33 went completely insane when she became the only being in the universe to read the whole terms and services of a software installation and understand every word. Going from place to place looking for excitment and adventure (and to avoid the creditors looking to repo that Ion-Buggy), Scaper33 stands as an example of a very scary story for parents to tell the kids to keep them on the straight and narrow. We keep her around because she's a cute and has all those bumpy parts Fanboy's love. The rumor that she ripped Six's arms off after he beat her in Holo-Monster chess is only a rumor (according to our lawyers) and cannot be spoken about until the civil case has been settled. (Scaper33's words to live by: Why argue with someone when you can simply blow them away?)

Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, a plane - no it's. . oh, wait that's a bird. Ak is a strange visitor from another house who came to the Hideout with powers and ability far beyound those of those of mortal potheads. Able to leap out windows of ny duplex when the husband comes home, faster then a speeding toddler, bends truth when the cops catch him with that payload in the back of the trunk. Who disguised as Alvin Knight, a mild mannered pee-wee kung-fu champion and frequent blogger at "wehateeverything.com" he uses his amazing powers for never ending battle for truth, justice and and as many red bulls as the endorsement deals will allow. (Ak's motto - breasts. . .lot's of breasts.)

King of the Jungle-boogie and Morpheus wanna-be, Simba believes in pretty woman, teddy-bears and selling weapons of minor destruction for discount prices. (There's a special on Atomic Zip Guns this month.) He came from the future to prevent the great distater that began when Halle Berry decided to make Catwoman 2. Simba is a relentless ninja assasin and part time exterminator who cut his battle teeth as the warden of the toughest prison planet in the Beetlejuice systems - Song-Song, housing such galactic despots as Iknon the Smelly and Elvis. When he's not out snapping pictures in cheerleader locker rooms (alledgely), he spends his nights leaping from rooftop to rooftop until the day he can pay that past due Ballies bill so he can exercise like normal people. Oh and he loves guns. . .lot's of guns. (Simba's advice: Fuck the red pill, take 'em both.)